6
Dec
2012
(What Would Have Been) The Best TV Moments of 2012
Top Ten Hypothetical TV Pairings
Annie
What makes a great TV moment? In my book, it is usually when a character has such a quintessential "them" moment, every other critique of the plot or character interactions melts away. What if all our favorite characters could step outside the screen and find their partner? Somebody who totally gets their quirks, would support them for who they are, and would ride off into the sunset by their side?

Today, I've proposed what would have been the greatest moments in TV this year. This list is a concoction of some of my favorite characters that graced the small screen in 2012 and the hilarious, fascinating, or awkward interactions that would ensue when they met a character from some of my other favorite shows. Choosing between my favorite TV characters is like choosing between my favorite puppies; the numbers on the list don't correspond to the strength of the pairings. Saturday Night Live: feel free to make any of these scenarios happen on your stage in 2013!

10.The Dowager Countess of Downton Abbey and Jackie Florrick of The Good Wife

These matriarchs were born in different eras, yet each strike fear in the hearts of millions of young ladies everywhere. They wrote the book on Mother in Law-hood. Each is proper, over protective and judgmental, yet delightfully sassy. Neither is pleased with Cora and Alicia, their son's choice in wives. The ladies make their disapproval clear on a regular basis. At the same time, each is fiercely loyal and protective of their family legacy; they would defend their daughters-in-law against public scrutiny any day.

I would love to watch these ladies sit down for tea. Each would be constantly one-upping the other son's achievements while dryly applauding each other on the financially responsible choice to not update her wardrobe in the new season.

9.Ava Alexander of Up All Night and Jenna Maroney of 30 Rock

The meeting of Ava and Jenna would be the ultimate diva show down. Each can sing, act, and host a talk show. But could they play nice? Each is known to be a little threatened by their competition and also hold a grudge (There is a good chance these ladies already had a show-down at the start of their careers auditioning to host MTV's Original Spring Break House Party).

Today, they would probably joust through a series of hare-brained schemes for the better seat next to Kathie-Lee and Hoda while visiting The Today Show on the same morning. After a few white wine spritzers and actually getting to know each other, the women would realize their strength in numbers and potential to take over the world.

8. Jason Stackhouse of True Blood and Andy Dwyer of Parks and Recreation

Last season on Parks and Rec, Andy was a little aimless. In the spring finale, April helped him realize his real dream in life is to be a police officer. Now, in Season 5, Andy has been diligently training to go the police academy. So far, his attention deficit and emotional maturity of a twelve year old have made it tough for him to progress very far. What he needs is some good coaching, from someone else who overcame odds and doubts to become one of the country's finest.

Jason is also less known for his intellect than his childlike enthusiasm and glory days as Bon Temps High School starting quarterback. Yet against the odds, he made it into the police force. Jason and Andy could practice interviewing suspects, observation skills, and hostage situations"”hilarity would definitely ensue.



7. Eric Northman of True Blood and President Fitzgerald "Fitz" Grant of Scandal

Eric Northman is the former King of Louisiana; Fitz Grant is the President of the United States. Each has to deal with petty politicking while maintaining their cool and authority. Even more important than their political experience, they both have even something more important in common: ridiculously good genes. More than swapping ideas about the fiscal cliff, I think many out there would like to see them compete in a battle of strength. Arm wrestling, push ups, sprints on the beach"”Eric may have superhuman strength, but Fitz has the strength of the United States military on his side.


6. Emily Thorne of Revenge and Cyrus Beene of Scandal

Cyrus Beene and Emily Thorne are perhaps the two greatest, mildly-sociopathic, schemers on television this year. Both are fiercely loyal to their cause (for Emily, the memory of her father and Cyrus, a successful administration under President Grant), have unlimited resources and no boundaries towards the furtherance of their missions. If Emily discovered that a younger Cyrus was part of the Americon Initiative (probably sitting next to shady oil tycoon Hollis Doyle), nowhere along the Acela corridor would be safe.


5. Shoshanna Shapiro from Girls and Mindy Lahiri from The Mindy Project

Shoshanna was my favorite character this summer on Girls; I loved her eagerness and fascination with living a sophisticated grown up life in the city. With a great job, amazing clothes, and a cute and successful boyfriend, Mindy would be the physical embodiment of all of Shoshanna's inspiration boards.

For Mindy, Shoshanna would be a great confidence boost (Shoshanna would love the green and navy tartan coat Mindy wore on "Two to One""”such a Charlotte!) while also inspiring Mindy to keep making mature life choices in the goal at becoming a mature lady. At the same time, Shoshanna would totally back her up for the infamous wedding toast in the Pilot"”a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!

Finally, Shoshanna would be a much more age-appropriate mentee who needs guidance in the sexual health department. Passing out condoms to a group of NYU students in Washington Square Park seems more appropriate than, say, a junior varsity volleyball team inside their high school gymnasium.


4. Carrie Matheson of Homeland and Olivia Pope of Scandal

Carrie, Carrie, Carrie. This girl is in need of some serious advice. Olivia Pope does have some bad judgment in her personal life, but not nearly as bad as Carrie's disastrous decision making. Sure, Carrie would need political fixing if the details of her relationship with Congressman/terrorist Brody became public, but I want Olivia and Carrie to be gal pals.

Neither has the time or energy for female friendships, but nonetheless I think they would be good for each other. Each understands how to be a strong woman in a male dominated profession, the bullshit of the Washington D.C. political machine, and how love flies in the face of all rules. Carrie loves white wine while Olivia is loyal to her red. But this is fine; each lady would just get to drink their own bottle as they vent about their days and pass advice, judgment free, on their taste in men.

Come to think of it, each lady could probably use a little advice from Detective Olivia Benson, the original badass. At SVU, she is the best detective in her squad room, and wrangling hot headed male coworkers, all while staying above office politics. When her half brother was in trouble with the law, she skirted the line of appropriate behavior in the name of family. She would understand what drives Olivia and Carrie to push the boundaries in their own lives.

3. Tom Haverford of Parks and Recreation and Schmidt of New Girl

Fun fact: it turns out Schmidt does not have a last name. In any event, I think Schmidt is just the business partner Tom needs. Tom is trying to launch his new business, Rent-a-Swag, a clothing rental program for middle school boys in Pawnee. He is big on ideas and gusto, but has little in successful business experience. Schmidt is a rising star in his marketing firm and shares Tom's enthusiasm for the finer things in life. With this duo, not only would Rent-a-Swag be a hit at every bar mitzvah in Pawnee, the amazingness of Treat Yo Self Day would take a whole new level (and I don't think Donna would mind Max Greenfield's eye candy as a third wheel, either).


2. Nolan Ross of Revenge and Chuck Bass of Gossip Girl

Nolan and Chuck are each young, slightly eccentric, billionaires with an army of minions at their beckon call. A merger between Nolcorp and Bass Industries would be a day of reckoning on Wall Street. In the Gossip Girl book series, Chuck Bass is bisexual, wears a ruby pinky ring, and has a pet monkey. I think one of the biggest mistakes of the CW's interpretation of the books was so fundamentally changing Chuck's character. Nolan would serve as Chuck's moral compass while Chuck would bring out the weird in Nolan hidden in the Hamptons and the boardroom.

I am not sure if this relationship would be amorous, or merely platonic with a lot of sexual tension. Each would try to impress the other with lavish gifts and fashion advice. Nolan has already proved himself an excellent partner in crime for scheming. Maybe with his help, Chuck could discover Gossip Girl's identity after all.

1. Manny Delgado of Modern Family and Shania Clemmons of The New Normal

Manny and Shania are both old souls and hopeless romantics trapped in the bodies of children. Manny enjoys sipping a fine espresso and attending poetry readings, Shania is a champion of equality and spent an entire episode in the character as Edie Beale of Grey Gardens to make a point. Manny may have a few years on Shania, but she makes up for it in her resolve and over-the-top campaigns.

Had Manny been the groom in Shania's pretend wedding, he would have loved her autumnal dress for its poetic qualities and never ditched her at the altar. Shania would completely understand why Manny doesn't want to play juvenile games like "Lets See How Hard We Can Throw This Frisbee at Each Other" like Luke and Manny's other friends. Instead, Manny and Shania would enjoy picnics, reading poetry and discussing the effect of mass media on an already gendered youth.
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