30
Oct
2012
Darren's Top Ten Worst Album Covers
Top Ten Worst Album Covers
Darren
As stated in my previous countdown some musicians put a whole lot of effort into their album art and create a cover that fits the album's music perfectly. Others choose to put the band or album name on the cover to play it safe. Then there are others, that, well"¦I'm not too sure what they were trying to do.

10. Arctic Monkeys - Suck It And See



Why this cover is on this list: Sometimes we have slight linguistic or dialectical disconnects with our British friends. For example, they say "trolley" while we say "shopping cart." In music, the White Stripes named their album "Icky Thump" after an old British phrase "Ecky Thump!" used to express surprise. They changed the spelling so that people would pronounce it properly, similar to Led Zepplin misspelling "lead" so people didn't say pronounce it "leed." Then there's the phrase "suck it and see," a British idiom that means to try something new or "give it a shot!" However, in the US we hear this phrase and immediately think of dicks (this happens with a lot of phrases on this side of the pond), which is probably why this cover was censored in some stores. This is mostly a miscommunication issue, but still, the Arctic Monkeys didn't think of the dicks angle?

9. Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream



Why this cover is on this list: Now you may think that this cover is really over the top and tacky, so"¦actually you know what? This cover is awesome. This should have been on my top 10 list.

8. Yeasayer - Odd Blood



Why this cover is on this list: I love this album, but seriously what the hell is this supposed to be? Why is it a guy with odd computer effects on his face and head? Is this supposed to be like a fucked up version of what Toad from Mario looks like?

7. Two Door Cinema Club - Beacon



Why this cover is on this list: Again, what is this? Is this a woman or a lamp? Is this the mother of the leg lamp from A Christmas Story? Is this woman falling out of the ceiling or rising up through it? Is she part of the ceiling? I feel like Two Door Cinema Club wants us to ignore all of this though and just focus on dat ass.

6. Foals - Antidotes



Why this cover is on this list: Alright, this is one of my favorite albums of all time. Yet it's stuck with an album cover that contains a so-so drawing of a dude's face with his mouth stuffed with a pictures of hearts and cartoon pills. Yes, I get it - Antidotes. Even if the drawing didn't have a weird mouth this would still be a mediocre album cover. But now it looks doubly weird and I just see it and think "OMNOMNOMNOMNOM"

5. Sigur Ros - Von



Why this cover is on this list: As we're seeing album covers with stylized faces on them are really hard to pull off. This one has a baby's face, which is really tough to pull off unless you're going for the creepy sun from Teletubbies effect. For this cover, it looks like Sigur Ros took a baby's face, added some blur and filter effects in Photoshop, and called it a day. They apparently felt the same way about this album - the band was allegedly disappointed in Von and didn't think it was a great finished product so they named its follow-up Agaetis Byrjun - or "an alright start."

4. Yuck - Yuck



Why this cover is on this list: Holy fucking fuck what is this? Why is this an album cover? Why is this a picture? I get that this may have been chosen because the figure may be saying "Yuck," but still, what the shit? I mean what is that dot on its crotch? Why does this only have one arm? Why? WHY YUCK?!

3. Alexisonfire - Crisis



Why this cover is on this list: As shown on my top 10 countdown, Alexisonfire can have really cool album covers. The over the top covers for Watch Out! and Dog's Blood aren't even that bad. Then they have the cover for Crisis, which has a title track inspired by the Great Lakes Blizzard of 1977. And what a better way to show the effects of a blizzard than showing some guy's frostbitten hands! Gross. A different version showed a snow blower operating, which is just as suitable and half as gross.

2. Of Montreal - If He Is Protecting Our Nation, Then Who Will Protect Big Oil, Our Children?



Why this cover is on this list: All of Of Montreal's album artwork is done by the brother of lead musician Kevin Barnes, David Barnes. The band uses his art in all of its live shows, and now his artwork has caused the band to more or less have a distinct cartoony and psychedelic art style. Some of their covers are great like, Aldhils Arboretum and Satanic Panic in the Attic. Then you have ones like the cover for The Early Four Track Recordings and this above for a b-side collection. There's a lot going on in this picture, a giant bullet-shooting Bush, a half-naked Bush(?), a kid labeled "America" covered in..oil? I really am missing something here. The best part is that this album is not political in the slightest, despite this awful cover and the album name.


1. The Blood Brothers - Young Machetes



Why this cover is on this list: Gah! What the hell!? Alright, if you can't tell, this is just a black and white picture of a girl that they went over with a flesh-covered marker for the face and then all over with a black marker. And the result is horrifying. I distinctly remember buying this album at a Best Buy and the cashier going "what the hell is that?" And I had no responses. So thanks Blood Brothers for creating another awkward moment in my life. I mean the Blood Brothers are a really weird band (seriously, watch the video for "Set Fire to the Face on Fire" from this album), so maybe the surrealism works, but that doesn't mean it isn't terrifying.
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